Common Myths About Couples Therapy
As a couples therapist, I often encounter misconceptions about what couples therapy actually entails. These myths can prevent people from seeking the help they need and lead to further strife in the relationship. It is important to address and attempt to debunk some of the most common myths to encourage people to reach out for help when they need it and not waiting until it is too late.
Myth 1: Couples Therapy Is Only for Troubled Relationships
Many people believe that couples therapy is a last resort for relationships on the brink of collapse. In reality, therapy can benefit any couple, whether they are experiencing major issues or simply want to strengthen their bond. You can think of couples therapy as a proactive approach to maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship in addition to a safe space to work through major issues.
Myth 2: Seeking Therapy Is a Sign of Failure in the Relationship
Seeking help is not a sign of failure, but a courageous step towards improvement. Every relationship faces challenges, and recognizing the need for assistance shows a commitment to making things better. Therapy offers tools and strategies to navigate these challenges more effectively. I commend couples who start therapy together as a demonstration of how deeply they care about the relationship.
Myth 3: Couples Therapy Is Too Expensive
While therapy is an investment, it is first important to consider the cost of not addressing relationship issues. Unresolved problems can lead to emotional distress, decreased productivity, and even more costly interventions down the line, such as divorce. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees or work with insurance plans to make therapy more affordable. I would encourage clients to ask potential therapists if they offer these lower fee spots, and if they do not, if they have any referrals for therapists who do.
Myth 4: Therapy Takes Too Much Time
Some believe that therapy requires a long-term commitment, but many couples notice improvements after just a few sessions. The length of therapy depends on the complexity of the issues and the couple’s dedication to the process. Many models of couples therapy are formatted to usually take somewhere between 8-12 sessions. Even short-term therapy can lead to significant positive changes.
Myth 5: Couples Therapy Is Just a Blame Game
A good therapist does not assign blame but helps couples understand each other’s perspectives and work together to find solutions. The focus is on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and fostering a deeper connection, not on determining who is at fault. Through couples therapy, clients start to see how the dynamic in the relationship is at fault for the issues and in need of changing, not one person or the other.
Myth 6: Therapy Is a Last Resort
Waiting until a relationship is on the verge of collapse can make therapy more challenging. Couples therapy is most effective when used as a preventative measure or at the first sign of trouble. Early intervention can prevent small issues from becoming insurmountable problems. Couples therapy should not be started as a threat to leave or stay in the relationship.
Myth 7: The Therapist Takes Sides
Some fear that a therapist will take sides, making one partner feel blamed or attacked. A good couples therapist is neutral and focuses on understanding both perspectives. A couples therapist has the goal to facilitate healthy communication and help each partner feel heard and understood.
Couples therapy is a valuable resource for anyone looking to improve their relationship. By dispelling these myths, we can create a more accurate understanding of what therapy offers and encourage more couples to seek the support they need. Remember, investing in your relationship is always a worthwhile endeavor.