Self-Care for Caregivers: How to Take Care of Yourself When Caring for Others

The life of a caregiver is one of the hardest jobs out there. You face nearly constant requests and demands, often with no built-in breaks like other professions, and usually end the day unpaid and feeling undervalued. When I ask my caregiver clients how they make time for themselves they often answer, “what time? There is no time left for me.” It is a massive responsibility with high stress, no clocking out, and a significant amount of emotional burnout. It is therefore vitally important that caregivers find a way to care for themselves when caring for others.

Make Time for Self-Care

One of the first steps in finding out how to care for yourself as a caregiver is to recognize that you must make the time for self-care an intentional priority each and every day. Some caregivers will reflect that they often feel guilty or selfish for taking time or spending money just for themselves. I will use the analogy of the procedures for putting on oxygen masks on a plane to help explain that self-care is not only not selfish but essential. When reviewing plane emergency procedures, the flight attendant will say that adults must put on their own oxygen mask before assisting others who need help. This is because if you try to assist someone first while you are running out of air you will not be able to help them or yourself. Caregivers need to first take care of their needs in order to be a good caregiver.

Creating Small Moments

Once you understand and accept the importance of intentionally caring for yourself first, the next step is to create small moments throughout the day for that self-care. Many people think of self-care as a grand gesture that takes up a lot of time and a lot of money. In making self-care a new and lasting habit, it is better to be implemented in small bits throughout every day. For example, one person might spend the five minutes before they get out of bed in the morning stretching their body instead of jumping right out of bed with the alarm. The way to create more impactful care is to have several small 2 to 5-minute acts of self-kindness each day instead of a long activity every once in a while. I will usually suggest caregivers think about adding into

their routine self-care that helps to support their mental, emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual well-being.

Open Discussion Outlets

It can also be helpful to find outlets that allow for open discussion around the challenges of being a caregiver. It has been helpful for many caregivers to meet and talk with others who have similar responsibilities. There are several in-person and virtual groups, both social and therapeutic. It can feel incredibly alienating to be a caregiver when others do not understand what is demanded of in this role. There is a lot of value in not feeling alone or the only one struggling with the job of a caregiver.

Caregiving can be emotionally, mentally, and physically taxing. It is not selfishness or weakness to feel overwhelmed in this position. Consistent and intentional self-care is extremely important and by no means impossible. Your time and your personal care is valuable.