Dealing with a Narcissist: 4 Methods to Try

Have you ever thought, “my partner is a narcissist?” What about a parent or a friend? All of us, at some point, have probably experienced dealing with narcissistic traits in someone who we have a close relationship with. This is because all of us have some narcissistic traits within us that emerge from time to time. Dealing with narcissistic traits can be challenging to navigate but dealing with narcissistic traits is relevant to us all.  The following are four methods to try when you are experiencing dealing with narcissistic traits in others:

1. Set Boundaries

Individuals who experience narcissistic traits often cross the line and surpass taking it too far with others. This is why having boundaries becomes important. It is important to remember that boundaries are for the individual creating the boundaries, and they cannot be placed on others. For instance, when an individual with narcissistic traits is belittling another individual, a boundary for the affected person could be to leave the room when the individual with narcissistic traits begins belittling them. It is important to remember that when communicating boundaries to an individual with narcissistic traits that the boundaries are conveyed in a precise and concise way. For example, an individual could say, “When you begin to belittle me, I am going to leave the room.” Lastly, follow through with the boundaries created. That is every time the individual with narcissistic traits starts belittling you, leave the room.

2. Know Your own Self-Worth/Grow Your own Self-Esteem

Individuals who experience narcissistic traits tend to cut others down. This can impact the self-worth and self-esteem of the individuals being put down. When an individual knows their worth and has higher self-esteem, it is easier to cope with the disparaging remarks an individual with narcissistic traits causes. It is crucial to see yourself through your own lens and not through the lens of how others see you. Also, it is essential to use positive self-talk (e.g., I am good enough), have a self-care regimen (e.g., exercise, journal, listen to music, or take deep breaths), and have a healthy support system (e.g., family or friends). Know that it is always okay to reach out and seek help from a mental health professional when you are struggling with low self-worth and self-esteem.

3. Standup for Yourself

Individuals who experience narcissistic traits do not make for very good empathizers and will most likely respond in self-centered ways. Even though the responses from individuals who experience narcissistic traits are unwarranted and insensitive, it is pivotal for individuals to express how they feel and explain the impact it has on them. Remember, it is important to include what you will not tolerate and how you expect to be treated within the relationship. The goal is to feel empowered by your own voice, even if the individual who experiences narcissistic traits is not listening to your voice.

4. Educate Yourself

Knowledge is power. Educating yourself on narcissistic traits can better equip you within your relationships with individuals who experience narcissistic traits. It will be easier to identify relational dynamics and patterns that narcissistic traits cause within the relationship, providing a foundation to be able to execute changes and cope. Lastly, education brings about acceptance of individuals with narcissistic traits because it allows for you to gain the perspective of putting yourself in someone’s shoes.