Therapy – Feel, Deal, and Heal
Have you ever thought about what a session of therapy looks like or wonder if therapy could be of benefit to you? As an associate professional clinical counselor, I follow and listen to the Therapy Thoughts podcast with Tiffany Roe on Spotify. Roe is a licensed clinical mental health counselor that provides insight about therapy. In one of the podcast episodes, Roe shares the importance of feeling, dealing, and healing when it comes to regulating our emotions. Inspired by Roe’s work, I thought about how these three important skills are applied in therapy. Let’s further explore how each skill can facilitate therapy.
Feel
For many of us, it may be difficult to find time or a safe place to feel or express our emotions. Even for those with a strong support system, it can still be difficult to share what's happening on the inside. One of the benefits of therapy is the opportunity to express your feelings without judgment or shame. This may look like:
You verbally identifying your emotions aloud with your therapist
You expressing your emotions through different outlets such as crying, art, or through journaling
You paying close attention to where you are feeling the emotions and sensations in your body
Deal
One of our natural defense mechanisms when it comes to dealing with chaos or difficult things is avoidance. Oftentimes, we find conflict in our thoughts, feelings, and uncomfortable situations, and instead of confronting them, we respond by avoiding them or pretending nothing is there. As Roe puts it, “we need to do the exact opposite,” which is to deal with our emotions. Going to therapy does just that by giving one the opportunity to confront and address some of the underlying problems around the uncomfortable emotions. With guidance and support from your therapist, dealing may look like:
You exploring the past and resurfacing suppressed memories
You grieving over the loss of a loved one
You learning to set boundaries with others
Heal
Finally, the overall goal of therapy is for some healing to take place. In order to heal, Roe points out that feeling and dealing needs to occur first. To see progress in therapy, you must put work and commitment into it as well as collaborate with your therapist. Ways of healing in therapy may look like:
You letting go of the past and focusing on being present
You validating and accepting your thoughts and feelings such as acknowledging to yourself that, “It’s okay to feel this way” or “I honor this emotion as it is.”
You prioritizing self-care and self-compassion
Our emotions are our cues letting us know that something doesn't feel right. We can feel our emotions in our body, therefore, it should not be ignored. Therapy is beneficial in that it is a form of support that helps you to recognize and pay attention to your emotions through feeling, dealing, and healing. I hope this provides some insight about what an hour of therapy may look like. If you are curious about Roe’s work or want to listen to her podcast, here is a link to her website: https://tiffanyroe.com/